Browsing Category: My Story

New Year. New blog

2016It’s now 2016. Welcome to the new year and yes, it’s been a while since I blogged. I guess one of my biggest problems is finding the motivation to get writing. I know I need to journal daily and while I know that, doing it is a whole other subject. So here we go on January 2nd. I’m just updating the blog again and I will do my best to do a post a day.

So what’s been up? Work, work and more work. The one thing I’m finding as I get older is I tend to go to work and then come home and the exciting portions of my life that I used to have now seem rather vacant. I don’t go out as much. I don’t take pictures as much. I don’t update as much because I don’t do much.

Stagnation is the name of the game but no longer. I need to move. I need to get out. I need to live so let’s get to doing that.

One thing I am doing these days is bullet journaling. I love writing in books and this gives me not only a planner, a calendar but also a creative outlet. Something to help me do something as dumb as doodle and draw or practice my handwriting, one of the things I really need to improve on. I’ll post some pictures of the planner very soon along with some other stuff I’m working on.

So things I want to get accomplished in 2016. Let’s make some goals.

  1. Clear out the vast amount of 20 years of clutter from my house. I’ve lived in my house since 1995. I do clean and I’m nowhere near hoarding where I have a clean path around mountains of trash and old newspapers. I just have a ton of junk and it needs to go. So I will be finding ways to make cleaning a priority but not a huge weekend chore.
  2. Budget more. I am HORRIBLE with money. I’ll admit it. I’ve made some very small steps to get financially stable and I will work on it every month rather than just guessing how everything is going.
  3. Get out of credit card debt. Who doesn’t want better credit scores and needs to take care of themselves financially. I am not in too deep a hole but I’m not comfortable with the hole I’m in. It’s time to get rid of some of the debt I’ve made to save up for a rainy day. Too much cash flow going out to bills means no saving and that bothers me.
  4. Communicate more. I have been a bit of a recluse in the last few years. If you are one of my friends or family and have felt me pull back from you, it was nothing you did. I am sorry about that. I am going to make a bigger and better effort to be with you more. I miss my friends and family. I miss going out. I miss seeing you and being part of your life. So expect emails, facebook messages, twitter messages and calls.
  5. I’m also going to try to read more. I miss reading and I don’t know why I suddenly assumed my life was so busy that I couldn’t pick up a book. So, new bedtime ritual will be a cup of tea (thank you for the Chamomile, Eric,Teri, and Talia) and at least 10 minutes of reading.
  6. Workout. My weight isn’t ridiculous but just like the money thing, it’s gotten to the point I’m not happy with things. I’m not happy with my blood sugars. I’m not happy with how I feel so I’ve got to change that. I still have my Planet fitness membership. I could change. I would just have to find a reason to change.
  7. Give more. I actually want to start volunteering or getting involved in something. I might even try joining a church. That may be an experience.
  8. Vacation. I am actually going to budget and plan a vacation out-of-town.
  9. I am planning a podcast and I’d like to find a second source of income. How? I have no clue. I have a clue how to podcast but I don’t know if anyone wants to hear my ramble on about my love of the Walking Dead, Woodwick candles or why you really shouldn’t pick your zits.
  10. Last but not least, take care of myself. Being a little selfish this year and really deciding for me is “whatever” something I really want. It’s part of the decluttering and the self-improvement. It’s time for us all to basically say “what about me? What do I want?” and just go for it.

So there’s a small list of the goals I have for this new year. We’ll check back and see how well I did at keeping them.

 

My Weight Loss Story

Bright eyed and bushy tailed!
Bright eyed and bushy-tailed!

Hi, my name is Megan. Welcome to Radiovixen.com. Radiovixen.com started in 2003 and in that many years, I’ve had this site for a lot of things. It’s been my blog, my podcast site, my weird rants and stories but now, It’s going to become my confessional. My confession is that I am morbidly obese.

You would think those two words would scare most people into doing something about their weight but it doesn’t. I’m living proof that you can be morbidly obese and live with it for many years. In fact, I’ve been bigger. My highest known weight was in 2012. I know for a fact I was hovering at around 370 pounds. I remember this because I went out to get a scale that I could weigh myself with and was a bit upset that I had to buy a Biggest Loser scale that went to 440 pounds. The reason I remember this is we had a scale that worked great in our house but at over 300 pounds, it would not read my weight. I needed one that could weigh me. I also remember thinking when I first stepped on it that I would never be close to needing to a scale that would read over 400 pounds. Still I watched my weight steadily climb closer and closer to that magic number.

My highest weight in 2012
My highest weight in 2012

I can’t always say I’ve been overweight. I have been big according to pictures of myself as a kid but I can say the earliest diet I’ve tried was at 8 years old. It was a doctor’s plan of a very low-calorie low-fat diet that I bet even the most well-disciplined adult would have a hard time following. No snacks. No treats. It lasted less than a month even with some dedication of my parents. They tried. I wasn’t a super fat child but according to my doctor, I didn’t fit into this magical percentage that would be “healthy’.  Diets? I’ve tried them. Weight watchers at 10. Jenny Craig at 12. You name it, I’ve done it. The only thing that’s ever worked it eat less junk and move more.

Translate that to my teen years when instead of losing weight, I gained due to the fact that all the teasing and self-hatred became wrecking my metabolism by not eating. Or when I did eat, I’d binge on crap. It was nothing to eat a large pepperoni pizza all by myself. Even when I tried to eat well, I’d eat well and I’d eat a lot. Eventually, at 27, I’d hit over 300 pounds and I’d become a type 2 diabetic.

I don’t mean as a sob story or place the blame anywhere but myself. Sure, other factors got me where I am. As of this writing, I am 310 pounds, according to that Biggest Loser scale.

What this story and this blog is now is not about the past. It’s the future. Enough excuses. Enough looking back. I think of the Serenity Prayer a lot these days.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.

Right now, I can not change my past. I can not change all the things I did to my body back then. I can’t.

What I can change is what I am doing now. I can change the way I move my body to make it a more efficient fat burning machine. I can learn how to eat right. I can learn how to work out and I’m taking you along with me so we can learn the wisdom together.

So I’m changing the purpose of my blog to my weight loss journal, confessional, my accountability and my place to talk about how to change my life. This is it. My first confessional. Today is a new day. I hope you enjoy the journey and come along with me.