Hi, my name is Megan. Welcome to Radiovixen.com. Radiovixen.com started in 2003 and in that many years, I’ve had this site for a lot of things. It’s been my blog, my podcast site, my weird rants and stories but now, It’s going to become my confessional. My confession is that I am morbidly obese.
You would think those two words would scare most people into doing something about their weight but it doesn’t. I’m living proof that you can be morbidly obese and live with it for many years. In fact, I’ve been bigger. My highest known weight was in 2012. I know for a fact I was hovering at around 370 pounds. I remember this because I went out to get a scale that I could weigh myself with and was a bit upset that I had to buy a Biggest Loser scale that went to 440 pounds. The reason I remember this is we had a scale that worked great in our house but at over 300 pounds, it would not read my weight. I needed one that could weigh me. I also remember thinking when I first stepped on it that I would never be close to needing to a scale that would read over 400 pounds. Still I watched my weight steadily climb closer and closer to that magic number.
I can’t always say I’ve been overweight. I have been big according to pictures of myself as a kid but I can say the earliest diet I’ve tried was at 8 years old. It was a doctor’s plan of a very low-calorie low-fat diet that I bet even the most well-disciplined adult would have a hard time following. No snacks. No treats. It lasted less than a month even with some dedication of my parents. They tried. I wasn’t a super fat child but according to my doctor, I didn’t fit into this magical percentage that would be “healthy’. Diets? I’ve tried them. Weight watchers at 10. Jenny Craig at 12. You name it, I’ve done it. The only thing that’s ever worked it eat less junk and move more.
Translate that to my teen years when instead of losing weight, I gained due to the fact that all the teasing and self-hatred became wrecking my metabolism by not eating. Or when I did eat, I’d binge on crap. It was nothing to eat a large pepperoni pizza all by myself. Even when I tried to eat well, I’d eat well and I’d eat a lot. Eventually, at 27, I’d hit over 300 pounds and I’d become a type 2 diabetic.
I don’t mean as a sob story or place the blame anywhere but myself. Sure, other factors got me where I am. As of this writing, I am 310 pounds, according to that Biggest Loser scale.
What this story and this blog is now is not about the past. It’s the future. Enough excuses. Enough looking back. I think of the Serenity Prayer a lot these days.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Right now, I can not change my past. I can not change all the things I did to my body back then. I can’t.
What I can change is what I am doing now. I can change the way I move my body to make it a more efficient fat burning machine. I can learn how to eat right. I can learn how to work out and I’m taking you along with me so we can learn the wisdom together.
So I’m changing the purpose of my blog to my weight loss journal, confessional, my accountability and my place to talk about how to change my life. This is it. My first confessional. Today is a new day. I hope you enjoy the journey and come along with me.